In the minds of the uninitiated, that phrase makes no sense.  It could also be taken and knocked around as a joke, because of course, us big girls have simply eaten ourselves to out sized sexiness.




The things that people don’t  take the time to look at are things like genetics, disease – and as a result, medication, mind-set, stress levels, earning power.


Genetics points us to family and our predisposition to gaining and keeping weight on.  There was a time when the statement “I come from a big-boned family” would cause raucous laughter in any room.  The fact is that although people refer to the bones, it is a fact that families share everything, including the genes that make our bodies the way that they are.  It ain’t about the bones, but it is about the body.  If your father is tall and solid and your mother is short nd solid, you my darling, will break even in the middle and be solidly medium heighted.  And when I say solid I mean that a waif you will never be. 


There are diseases  and medications that bring on the ponds as well.  If you’re asthmatic, you’re going to gain weight more than likely because the meds are usually locked down with steroids.  If you’re diabetic you can either gain or lose poundage.


Someone’s mind-set is also a heavy contributor to the poundage, particularly if it is that they are stressed, personally or professionally.  This point is linked though to eating, because stress does make some of us eat, as does depression, anger and anxiety.


Our power to earn a decent wage puts us at risk for extra poundage as well.  The more we earn is the better that we can eat.  The lower our wages, the more difficult it is for us to buy the best, hence we fall victim to the mass produced, the fat saturated, the wonder and max sized meals .. basically the things that are moments on the lips and forever on our hips.


So we know what ails us.  Do we even take the time to check on what heals and helps us?  They ae in our hands, and at the end of our legs.  Our hands and feet.  Our hands are the instruments that put the food into our mouths and our feet are the things that get us moving.


We need to nourish our bodies … not just feed ourselves.  We need to get moving and not just move ourselves.  I’m not saying that we need to run a marathon every other weekend, but we need to get up off our tushes and shake them down the lane or around a park or savannah.  There are times when we don’t realize that we can be and have been our own worse enemies.  We complain about the aches and the pains when we move, but the irony is that the more we move, the less the pains become.


The other thing is that when we eat … really eat … we lose the pounds.  Our metabolisms are unable to become lazy when we eat the way we should..  we have become so used to the seesaw that is the diet life that we starve ourselves, not realizing that our bodies become so worried about us that they ‘lovingly’ store the fat in our bodies, just in case we decide not to eat again.  Again, our own faults.


You may be wondering why this rant on myself and my BBW sistahs.  It’s simple really.  A photograph was placed on our group wall the other day of a woman … a beautiful woman … with hips that measure more than 8 feet in circumference, and this is something of which she is proud.  If you look at this woman you can see that from her face to her shoulders to her bustline and waist, she is your average full figured woman.  Then there are the hips.  And then her legs go back to average.


There is no way on God’s green earth that you can tell me she’s healthy.  She spoke of the thousands photographs that have been taken of her, and the way that people stare at her when she walks down the road with her husband and family.  She speaks of exercising, but her children have to pull her out of her seat at home, and when she does ‘exercise’ she only moves her arms.  That has NOTHING to do with her girth.


It frightened me to look at this woman, and in my fear, I thought of all of us full figured women, many of us who believe that being comfortable with your body means sitting on our asses an doing nothing.  As someone who has battled back from 396 lbs about eight years ago to 228 now (And I ain’t done yet!!), I think I have the right to yell at any and all of us when we sit and stew in complacence.  THAT IS NOT AN OPTION.  Nobody says that you have to wafer thin in order to be sexy … particularly since REAL men know that there ain’t nothin wrong with meat on a REAL woman, and guys, you need to get up off your asses and motivate your woman.  What  am saying is that we need to be the best of ourselves  Love your curves, believe in your curves …  Get to steppin and do the work!


Okay … I’ve said a mouthful.


Please … I beg of you … let’s get started.  It’s for your own good!


A Review of AT LAST … – Through the Eyes of a Friend & Her Daughter.

Hi there,

The following is an email that I received this morning from my friend Dani. I have to say that it was indeed heartwarming and as such made me smile. It’s nice to know that people are paying attention to the things that you’re doing…

Hi Donna,

OK, this is gonna get your underpants all knotted up now!!!!!


I must say that I can’t stop!!! Might I add it’s nice to be able to read
something with life like situations and characters that my 12 year old and I can sit and discuss and not be bored and I don’t have to be afraid that there might be something in there that I might not want her to learn just yet.

As you know she is beyond her years so she is not interested in the
Twilight Saga. She thinks it’s for boring little white girls with nothing
else to do but believe in Vampires. She also thinks that books and movies like those open doors for spiritual warfare so she’s not missing anything.

Anyways… The entire book is easy to relate to. The characters are real and the situations life-like and current.

I have to make a recommendation to you as a friend though. Explore doing an adaptation for screen/stage.

There is great potential between the covers of At Last. I think that the options are limitless. I don’t know exactly what the ramifications of such a project would be but I am telling you that now in the Caribbean we are holding our own in the film industry and now is a good time for you to get your piece of it.

We have the film company here and I’m sure you can get assistance and guidance from them.

Look it up Donna…possibilities exist we just need to uncover them.
Jah-mai said you should do it too. She said you could be the local Tyler Perry lol!!!!!


BTW… if you’re not interested…I want to play Greer (teehee).
OOOOOOHHHHHH……..and that guy from Soul Food (the series) who is married to the light skinned sister from the show and in reality he is part German (chocolate) (I think she means Boris Kudjoe here folks 🙂 )…he could be my Tre’ yummmmmyyyyyy. 🙂

Best Regards

Danielle Nieves
Marketing Assistant
Express House
35 Independence Square

Between Friends …


Friend’ is a word that is bandied around and beaten to death daily. There are so many “definitions” and “connotations” but right now, I want to deal with SISTAHFRIENDS.

What is a Sister-friend?

That is the person you call when you need to laugh or cry. That is the person who has your back no matter what; who stand up for you in public and screams that you’re right even though behind closed doors, she’s telling you what a mess you’ve made.

A true sister-friend will drive, fly, ride any number of hours to be at your side in your time of need, celebration, crisis, whatever.

This is the woman whose number is #1 in your speed dial – before the hubby or boyfriend.

Basically, a real sister-friend is another woman’s Rock and Strong-Tower in all aspects of life. She is the woman who says ‘I’m prayin’ for you girl,’ and really means it.

I take the time to list the aforementioned in order to state that this is by no means a one-way street. For everything she does for you, you do the same for her.

Now …

It has come to my attention that there are some of us women out there who seem to think that they need only be on the recipient side and not the giving. As my mother says, “THERE IS JUST AS MUCH JOY TO BE HAD IN SAYING ‘YOU’RE WELCOME’ AS THERE IS IN SAYING ‘THANK YOU’.”

I want to know if it’s just a black thing or is it across the board with women who have no qualms in milking a friendship bone-dry and are not willing to put in the same time…

I’m there for you when you graduate from college, but you miss my important recital. I’m there for you when you have major surgery, but you’re not around when I graduate.

I’m talking about the women who love the support I can give but begrudge me the bits of happiness that come my way; but then they say with pride no less that they are your sistahfriend?

Bitch please! If this is the way that you treat me – you’re supposed nearest and dearest – what would you do to the people you dislike?

My Sisters … my Sistahs …

Take the time to look at your relationships with the important women in your life. Sit down and talk it out, work it out, pray it out before it comes to a parting of the ways.

Have you received more than you’ve given? Have you taken advantage? Have you used? Be honest with yourself. Apologize for your oversights … and should you be on the receiving end, then be gracious.

If it is that you are on the receiving end of the abuse and you have in all honesty come to the end of your rope, you have all right, according to the UNWRITTEN CODE OF SISTAHOOD, to cut the cords and live to fight another day.

Just something to think about …

Holla at ya girl!