Changing Our Internal Soundtrack …



I recently spoke to a dear one of mine who is presently going through some things. It’s been rough for them, and I know that there are nights that remain sleepless, as well as days of black clouds, hesitance and doubt.

They have attempted to remain optimistic in the face of harrowing body blows. They smile and joke, and it’s a pattern that I have come to recognize from my own experiences with ‘days of thunder’ as I choose to call them.

Our internal soundtracks are the ‘inner voices’ that guide us, be they celestial, emotional, spiritual, ancestral or voices from our past. These are the voices that are with us at our highest and lowest moments.

At our pinnacles, they constantly pat us on the back … remind us of how wonderful we are and can even press on to cause us to become quite selfish, and mindless of the people or circumstances that have gotten us to this particular peak.

In our pits of despair, these same voices can be the ones that jeer and sneer at us, while reminding us of every single failure in our lives … from kindergarten to that time at the office when we fell flat on our faces in the middle of a presentation.

They are the soundtracks of our lives, and I don’t know about you, but I would rather have a nice balanced play list that shows me where I’ve gone wrong and cheers me on while I attempt to repair the problem.

The worst thing is when WE are the voice that we hear … the voice of our own insecurity…

I told my dear one this morning that they needed to remain thankful and that they needed to find something at the end of each day to be thankful and grateful for – be it a parking space or a butterfly that came their way. The response was “I am thankful and I start my prayers off with thanksgiving but … it’s hard…”

The word BUT is a bitch of a word and here’s why … are you aware that EVERYTIME you say BUT you have effectively negated everything that went before it?


I love you with all my heart … I can’t stay with you … BUT in the middle. You’ve just told someone that you don’t love them and goodbye.

The ‘supposed’ love that you feel for that person is just a plaster to try to make them feel better as you walk away.

Let’s look at my dear one’s statement … “I am thankful and I start my prayers off with thanksgiving but it’s hard some days…”

I am thankful and I start by prayers off with thanks giving … it’s hard some days … BUT in the middle. Stay with me class … they’ve just said he isn’t thankful and life is hard.

Now before you pick up your soap box and turn it over in an attempt to tell me what a cold hearted bitch I am, lemme just explain what I mean.

Yes I know that there is absolutely NOBODY on this earth who wakes up everyday all peachy keen and in the pink of great humor. Yes I know that we all have our battles to fight. I also know that WE are the ones who allow others to hold us back … we are the ones who allow the seeds of doubt and sometimes ultimate failure to permeate our souls on our good and bad days. The word BUT is a word that inspires doubt … e.g. YES I KNOW HE CAN DO IT BUT LEMME JUST HELP HIM. Again … Yes I know he can do it … Lemme just help him … BUT in the middle. This works out to be ‘I don’t trust him to be able to do this so I’ma stick my foot in it.’

When we start adding BUT to our vocabulary when it concerns ourselves, we are giving life to self-doubt, insecurity, and mistrust of self. How could that be a good thing? If we don’t love, trust, respect and believe in ourselves … who’s gonna do it for us?

So you’ve been told all your life that ‘little black boys and girls will NEVER amount to anything in this world” and you have a setback … do you wallow in the mud and slime and doubt yourself while giving life to what OTHERS have said to you? NO! You change your internal soundtrack and you keep telling yourself “I am going to make it DESPITE what has been said to me and about me!”

You realize that it’s not going to work and you end a relationship or the relationship is ended by your partner. You’ve been told since the age of reason that “people in your family NEVER stay together anyway so why bother … your relationship skills are jinxed.” Are you going to let someone else speak into your life and tell you that you’re never going to find relationship happiness? NO! you change your soundtrack and tell yourself that “I will find with God’s help the one who is made for me. He/She is coming and soon!”

I guess what I’m trying to say is that positivity is so much more effective than her evil twin negativity. Someone pointed out to me the other day that when life gives you lemons you ask for sugar, because the water is free. That sounds like wonderful advice to me.

No I’m not sending you out there to be the voice of constant cheerleading … that would just be annoying. What I am saying dear ones is that life is hard, days can be tough, BUT with the right attitude … we will all get to where we are destined to be!




The night may not have been the best time you ever had. The previous day may have been the kind that makes you want to go back to bed and start over again … but in all fairness to the new day – there’s always tomorrow.

We are given the chance, with each new daybreak, to reinvent ourselves, to begin again with a clean slate. It is actually our own psyches that cause us to hold tight to the pains, hurts and disappointments of the previous day.

We supposedly keep that tight grasp as a means of ‘reflection’. It still astounds me that we never seem to reflect on the positives … on the gifts of light and love that have come our way during the 24-hour pass … only on the negatives.

We spend our nights – most of us – sifting through the sands of doubt and shame, hurt and anger, insecurity and fear, instead of saying to self and Maker that we vow to make it better tomorrow and paying tribute to the ones who have affected us in a good way.

We hoard every perceived injustice and as such we hand over our personal power to people who are in now way deserving of that privilege.

The actions of one vengeful, manipulative, sneaky and just plain malevolent human should not cause the tailspin that I have personally allowed to happen, but I did. It is my fault that I have allowed my own insecurities to cloud my joy and common sense … but allow it I did.

I now take the time to assure myself and others that there’s always tomorrow … and tomorrow and tomorrow.

Our opportunities for a clean slate are endless, yet we continue to swim in the current quagmire of choice…

The universe constantly sends us clues and reassurances, but in our chase of the illusive of yesterday we miss them.

Allow yourself the privilege of looking up and outward to tomorrow instead of holding on to and looking down at yesterday. Certainly, live in today, and live your best today. Crap happens, disappointments may very well occur, but remember that when everywhere else there are walls, magnets and nails holding you in this place of sadness and uncertainty, the sun will rise again …

Because there’s always tomorrow!