THE NECESSARY RANTINGS OF A WOMAN IN NEED OF PSYCHOLOGICAL & EMOTIONAL RELEASE

broken_heart

They say that ‘no man is an island’ … well at this particular time of my life I feel like I’m sitting in the middle of a sea of misconception, mis-communication and as though I am being totally misunderstood.

I have been pouring my heart out to the ones nearest and dearest and I have come to realize after all of this time that NO ONE gets what I have been trying to say … absolutely no one …

Do you know how frightening that is to admit? I have been nothing but the voice of one who cries out in the wilderness … and as such, I have been offered nothing but platitudes and placebos as the means of healing that which ails me.

Ladies and gentlemen … me heart is broken at this point in time and I hurt in places that defy common sense — yet the only thing offered to me by those who supposedly know me best is ANYTHING WORTH HAVING IS WORTH FIGHTING FOR.

Here I stand … naked and vulnerable … exposed to the elements and all that is being given to me is TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS …

I am speechless in this time of confusion as I try to understand the ambiguous greeting that befell me this evening in the face of all oF my excitement about what was going on around me and I am told NO ONE CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON BUT YOU.

Is pain something that does not translate well? Is it that the ones that I have counted on thus far have no fucking clue about the pain that has engulfed my heart? Or is it that it is as I have always feared … they just really don’t care…

My heart is aching and I am swimming in a sea of platitudinous nonsensical words that do nothing but aggravate the case that holds dear my soul … I have come to this point of non-understanding via swimming in a tide of nonsense words and in the hope that I will be thrown off the scent of ones who just don’t get it …

I am tired of the words offered to me … the words that are offered as band aids for my broken me … words spewed at me in the belief that once they are uttered I would indeed shut the fuck up…

My heart is aching and here I stand in this place of labyrinth-like speech from people who should supposedly know better … from people whom I have opened myself up to … people whom I have shed my lifeblood for …
How stupid am I to always be so willing to give of self in the hope of receiving treatment in like …

Note to the universe:

I am tired … I am talked out and I am cried out…/ I have said all that I can and it is time for someone else to do the talking … I am all cried out and it is time for someone else to shed a tear … I have come to this place now of admitting the brokenness that swims around this heart of mine … there is nothing left in me … not at this time..

It is your time to admit that I have been wronged and it is your turn to admit that you need to fix it …

It is your turn to bring wholeness to this broken situation – though temporary it may be …

It is your turn to make this make sense … it is your turn Universe to bring me to a place of happiness and completion … I surrender to you … you win!

I am broken and though this is a temporary time of broken-ness … it is still real and I have no intention of just sitting by and accepting the platitudes and the fuckery that springs eternal from those round me …

I have been known to burn a bush or two in my ire and I feel the need to bring out ye ole extinguisher just in case I come to the point of total fedupness and irritation…

I am broken…

I seek solace and comfort … and I look forward to the explanations regarding the one who has caused my ire, my confusion and my need for clarity …
Wish me luck as I wait for what is due to me … involvement and clarity of mind …

Can someone be there for me just this once???

Thanks …