Journey With Me Through Time … and Understand.

This is actually an older blog from another site, but it’s still relevant cuz we’re all battling something. Enjoy!!!

I was having a conversation this evening with one of my girls and I was telling her that looking at photographs of myself from a time when I was heavier hurt my heart.

She dropped some knowledge on me that made so much sense that I’m sitting here doing this blog.

This blog is dedicated to my Journey to a Healthier Happier Me… I have decided to bite the bullet and face my past. It’s not really a ‘before’ and ‘after’ because I have a ways yet to go, but we can call it a “Before and Here Is Where I’m At” look at the woman that is Donna Mae G.

Now don’t get twisted, I will always be a sized sexy woman and I’m proud as hell to wear that label, but I’ll be a healthier sexier biatch (just never a skinny biatch)…

I’m posting this as well as a means to encourage anyone who has a mountain to climb and feels that they can’t do it. You can, trust me. I had lost weight and was yoyo-ing for a few years between 2003 and 2005, but my conscious effort began in late 2005 into 2006, and it took me close to 2 years to lose 100 pounds, and I had gotten to the point where I was sagging, so I took my ass off to the gym as you know this year, and I’ve told you what’s been going on with that. So in 2 years and about 4 months I’ve lost around 125 pounds, and I’m still going…

To those of you who have held my hand, cried with me, encouraged me and yelled at my ass when I needed it – thank you and much love. Y’all know that it’s always and will always be appreciated and welcomed.

So …

Here’s my journey in pictures…

– Class Reunion in 2003 (at my biggest)

– At Real Estate office in 2004

– A neighbour’s party in 2005

– Going to my girl Noella’s wedding, 2005

– Spoken word performance in June 2006

– Partying at Club 51 in July 2006

– Neighbour’s wedding in October 2006

– Thanksgiving dinner at my house in December 2006

– Ex-AMPLES & Friends Brunch in March 2007

– Concert at Christ Church in December 2007

– My girl Joann’s wedding in December 2007

– Performance at Satchmo’s Jazz Club in May 2008

– Headshot, June 2008

– Office Shot, July 2009

– Performance at Movietowne’s Fiesta Plaza, November 2009 (Where I am now…)

Make your mountain your personal journey and climb the hell out of it – the view is SWEET from the other side!

Holla at ya girl!

My Journey There and Back …

to hell and back

I’ve been there
Down in that murky
Grimy pit called Despair.
I’ve seen all there is
To see of that
Particular brew of
Primordial ooze
And I have struggled
To pull myself out of it.
It wasn’t easy
The miserable lethargy
The cloying nearness of sorrow
Wraps itself around
Your psyche like a warm
Inviting snuggly blanket
It held fast to every pore
It clung to the damp tendrils of my hair …
It saturated my tears
The pungent aroma of misery and sorrow
Wafts through every room
In this special corner of Hell
The god-awful yet inviting stench
That pulled me further and further in
Until I salivated for want of taste
And I ate and ate and ate
Licking dry each saucepan and skillet
Used to prepare my own six-course meal
And there I sat
Repulsed yet fascinated
That I had become
My own Sin Eater …
Magnetized by the ‘pretty’ fare
Laid out around the darkness
Of my soul
Needing to take the pain away, yet knowing better
But unable to stop feasting
Yet again at this personal banquet of
Misery, of sorrow of subjugation
And desperation.
I’ve been there
In that repellent kitchen
Where the chefs are
Mirror images of self
Where guests believe themselves
To be in the shadow realm
Yet was I sickeningly comfortable
The kind of comfort that
Is uncomfortable in its ability to
Strangely soothe
The bell tolled then
And I painfully and slowly rose
To my feet – forcing myself away
From the table
Realizing only then that
I was sated but unable to stop myself
Though stop I needed to
And so … I did
But, yes, I’ve been there
I’ve cooked in hell’s kitchen
And I know the darkness of that pit
I know the stench
Of self imposed misery and melancholy
And this is not a comprehension of which
I am proud
I have abashedly licked the pots clean
While I have navigated the quagmire
Of my feelings, and beliefs…
Look at my skin, look at my soul and
See my battle scars …
Yes
I’ve been there
But now … I’ve returned
And I am stronger for the journey…