I am a creature of emotion … I am a being of light … I am a woman of strength.

That being said, I am never clingier, or moodier, or needier than when I am on my cycle.

I’ve seen and heard all the cutesy supposedly empowering names that women have come up with to somehow attempt to soothe us into thinking that we are destined to ENJOY this time. Doesn’t work though, because I hear those names in my head and it just mocks the cramps, the bitchiness and the need to cuss out that woman, Eve!!! What the hell woman??! Couldn’t you tell that frickin’ serpent to talk to the hand cuz the blasted face ain’t listening??! Now we’ve got pain with every frickin’ thing we do!

I get to me ‘time’, and I morph into the neediest bitch of a Goddess there is on Planet Earth, and I don’t need another woman to talk to and moan and groan in my ear – just like me… I need a strong, sensitive, caring, Alpha Male of a man … a REAL MAN. Yeah I know that whenever I say this, a lot of my gal pals say that I’m actually describing a gay buddy, but there are MEN out there who are empathetic enough to get that women need a little extra TLC at that time. I’m not saying that they’re growing on trees in every back yard … I know they are rare, but they exist, dammit!!!

I need — no, I WANT a man in my life who’s not afraid to show a little affection … bring me scrumptious, decadent cups of hot chocolate, fluff my pillows, rub my tummy, massage my swollen ankles, hold me when I’m cramping and cranky as hell, and call me from work to check up on me … for at least five days out of month. Is that too much to ask??

I don’t think so!!

I’m a caregiver everyday … well, I want some care given my way too.

To a lot of you, this sounds like a fairy tale, but you know what? I deserve all of those things, wrapped up in a man who can rock my world (IN A GOOD WAY!!!) on many other levels as well … someone who appreciates and adores me when I’m PHAT and Fabulous, when I’m grimy from working, fresh out of the shower or just waking up with no makeup on, and yes, when I’m bitching and moaning during my ‘oh so exciting’ (can you smell the sarcasm??) Moon Time, AND I WILL NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING LESS!!!