TRANSPARENCY ISSUES …

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You think you’re so slick

looking down your nose

at those you perceive as

less that human

those unworthy to stand in

your self-appointed glow

 

yet here you stand, and sit,

and trail, as you blatantly

attempt to forge an alliance

with the Devil himself…

hoping that no one sees you,

no one hears you … no one

smells the pheremones and thirst as they

flood out of your achingly desperate body

the smell of which sticks in all of our throats,

so nauseous are we from its cloying sweetness.

 

We see you, we hear you,

we smell you and

we know what you are doing

we watch, amused, as the Devil

puts you through your paces –

testing you, teasing you,

playing with you the way that string torments a kitten

 

We watch you grope and grab

and beg for the crumbs that he sweeps off of his table

snapping at the heels of anyone

who may momentarily catch and hold his attention

so desperate are you to walk through his Halls

 

Do you think he doesn’t know?

Do you believe that he’s not amused?

Do you see yourself positioned as his bottom bitch?

 

We are so sorry for you …

for your air of superior intellect

and your actual vapid mindspace

we would tell how foolish you are being

but we won’t because … well …

we are, after all, UNWORTHY!

So we stand together like

spectators at a hanging

as your vacuous shell is filled up with

half empty statements, broken promises

and hope that springs

like a weed in the desert.

 

We watch as your transparency issues

come into full blossom

and stand silently as they

eventually grow till nothing is left but

your eventual death as your issues

do to you what

your ineptitude has done to us.

 

Rest in pieces…

Bitch!

THE AWKWARD PAUSE…

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It’s that point when you get to the fork in the road.  It’s the fork in the road where you decide that you’re going ahead with the person or you’re moving on alone.  It’s that moment when you look at that person and see the LIES shining suspiciously in their eyes.  It’s the realization that the lies are just too much to live with anymore…

 It’s the momentary need to walk from life and die a private death.  It’s the mocking laughter of death as he jeers at you, making certain that you know that this ain’t your time … that you have to get up in the morning and face the music.  It’s the music that starts off as a dirge, morphs into the annoying tribal beat of a heart beat that shifts into the angry drone of techno.

 It’s the anger – first with the lying piece of excrement and then with self, as you realize that you felt it all along and chose to believe their pitch-reel of lies, half-truths and innuendo.  It’s the story that remains lodged in your psyche and repeats … like so much bad curry on an inflamed stomach, causing the incessant presence of emotional heart burn.  It’s the bitterness of bile rising to the surface and flowing on to your yet rising anger, hurt, betrayal, need to kill, to maim, to injure, to make suffering as palpable as your own, and so you …

                                                       PAUSE! Mid Sentence … Mid Rant … Mid Feeling … Mid Crisis.

  JUST … PAUSE … THEN CHOOSE … TO FREE SELF … TO SAVE SELF … TO RELEASE … TO LIVE!

It’s the realization that a Truer, Happier Life is the BEST REVENGE – a revenge that can only be savoured when you …

 PAUSE!!!

MOON DAYS, GODDESS TIME…

MOON GODDESS

 

I am a creature of emotion … I am a being of light … I am a woman of strength.

That being said, I am never clingier, or moodier, or needier than when I am on my cycle.

I’ve seen and heard all the cutesy supposedly empowering names that women have come up with to somehow attempt to soothe us into thinking that we are destined to ENJOY this time. Doesn’t work though, because I hear those names in my head and it just mocks the cramps, the bitchiness and the need to cuss out that woman, Eve!!! What the hell woman??! Couldn’t you tell that frickin’ serpent to talk to the hand cuz the blasted face ain’t listening??! Now we’ve got pain with every frickin’ thing we do!

I get to me ‘time’, and I morph into the neediest bitch of a Goddess there is on Planet Earth, and I don’t need another woman to talk to and moan and groan in my ear – just like me… I need a strong, sensitive, caring, Alpha Male of a man … a REAL MAN. Yeah I know that whenever I say this, a lot of my gal pals say that I’m actually describing a gay buddy, but there are MEN out there who are empathetic enough to get that women need a little extra TLC at that time. I’m not saying that they’re growing on trees in every back yard … I know they are rare, but they exist, dammit!!!

I need — no, I WANT a man in my life who’s not afraid to show a little affection … bring me scrumptious, decadent cups of hot chocolate, fluff my pillows, rub my tummy, massage my swollen ankles, hold me when I’m cramping and cranky as hell, and call me from work to check up on me … for at least five days out of month. Is that too much to ask??

I don’t think so!!

I’m a caregiver everyday … well, I want some care given my way too.

To a lot of you, this sounds like a fairy tale, but you know what? I deserve all of those things, wrapped up in a man who can rock my world (IN A GOOD WAY!!!) on many other levels as well … someone who appreciates and adores me when I’m PHAT and Fabulous, when I’m grimy from working, fresh out of the shower or just waking up with no makeup on, and yes, when I’m bitching and moaning during my ‘oh so exciting’ (can you smell the sarcasm??) Moon Time, AND I WILL NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING LESS!!!

Naked…

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The state of my heart

The state of my mind

The state of my soul

The state of my body

 

I am here, naked before you

You, my world … the world

Vulnerable for all the world to see

Open to your mockery

To your pointed fingers

To your jeering laughter

As I try in vain to hide my true self

Covering my heart and my head

 

This is the state that you

YOU have left me in

This is where you walked away

As soon as you have seen

What you wanted to

What I had hesitated to show

 

I find, however, that I am not alone

And He has come in and covered me

He has moved my hands away

And spread His love all over me

And I am adorned in rainbows

And clouds, and joy and peace

And love, and light and smiles

 

I am no longer naked

You can leave now … the show is over

Your apologies are hollow

Just like the lies that they are built up on

Go away … you who have used and abused

The inner me, the inner sanctum that

You have vandalized in the name of

“CARE”

Your words were sweet, at first

Now they burn … they burn my ears

I see them and I cringe

I need for you to leave

 

I am clothed, I am free

I am no longer violated

You are no longer welcome

You will never, ever again

See me Naked.

STASIS

 

 

 

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That place where souls sit and wait

For the last few miles to fade before

Their dreams come true

 

That corner of the desert where mirages appear

Taking your focus away from the goal at hand

Mirages that offer sinfully, delightful promises

Promises that you know are impossible to keep

But promises that reach your soul none the less

 

The people who suck the energy out of your dreams

And the bed where you lay the now empty shells

In the hopeless hope that they would spring to life

Again

 

That place in the mind where you have put yourself

Through your constant inaction

From your ever present lethargy

Caused by your doubt

Fed by your indifference

Borne of your fear

Fear of all that is

 

Imperative…

 

The need for change which happens through

Movement

Caused by faith

Pushed by knowledge

That the only constant is

The same change

And change of all —

Mind-set, atmosphere, surroundings, ALL THINGS

All of the things that have

Kept you were you are

 

Swimming in the stagnant ooze

Of a swamp called

Stasis

I Have A Right To My O’PEN’ion…

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So if I am to understand tonight’s news reports properly, the goodly PM and cohort would now wish for the 5th Estate to pass all stories written for publication to the “Principal” for prior approval and editing??!

Seriously? Really???

I know that I’m not word for word at this point, but this is the ACTUAL meaning of the PP’s statement of dissatisfaction with the media’s reporting.

I find the situation laughable, since so many reports are already being shuffled in the newspapers like the proverbial deck of cards in order to allow the government to come up smelling like roses.

The thing with decks, particularly Tarot decks, is that eventually, the Joker will indeed turn up. The Joker, or the Fool in Tarot decks, is the first card in the deck and the first Major Arcana or High card. It represents Individuality, New Expression and New Beginnings requiring Wisdom and courage. It is a symbol of Carefree Thought and Living, Impulsiveness and Enthusiasm. Think the Honeymoon period of the current government. This card, reverted, however, is indicative of Childishness, Recklessness, and a Lack of Motivation and Common Sense.

BOOM!!! And we’re back…

I wonder if the goodly powers that be are able to recall the fact that the supposed GIANTS of “Journalistic Fortitude” jumped ship to supposed greener pastures upon the election of the PP and went to work in the ‘Halls of Power’.

Did it occur to the official mouthpieces that their propaganda machine is broken??

Their Magicians or Cobblers – another Tarot reference – who represent Creativity, Imagination, Willpower, Confidence, Communication and Skill are no longer standing ‘right side up’ because the nation is no longer willing to believe. They are inverted and showing layers upon layers of Indecision, a Weak Will and the blatant misuse of skills and powers. This is nothing but an excellent reflection of what is taking place inside the annals of government.

Thanks to the actions of the Justice card, the citizenry have become aware of the Imbalance, the Insincerity, the lack of Harmony, Equilibrium and Indecision.

The one thing that I know about Trinidad is that it is a small town divided between two islands, and everybody knows, is acquainted with or related to someone who works somewhere that information – significant or otherwise – is disseminated, and as a wonderfully comical result, every spun story that is released, is in one way or another, reversed, releasing the truth. There’s basically nowhere to hide. You can do what you want, the truth will out.

It would be fun, and at the same time frustrating, to take the time to list all of the flaws and wrongs that are screaming at the populous on a daily basis, but I don’t have the space, time or inclination to do so. I will mention the need to cook the murder and other major crime figures and shift them to page 8 or some other forgotten page in the press; the misuse of governmental facilities and equipment by ministers – prime and otherwise; the fact that no one seems to be worried about the fact that our National Security Minister CANNOT TRAVEL BEYOND OUR BORDERS; the inappropriate behaviour of members of Government who sit in the upper echelons of Power.

That being said, could this band of ill-equipped and power hungry ‘heads’ really believe that cutting the occasional ribbon is going to in some way trump stories that they create just by being themselves?

Really???

These are the same people who harshly dealt with their predecessors in the very said media, and the media more than willingly acquiesced at the time.

Did they think that by rewarding the ELDERS by presenting them with juicy salaried positions and perks, thereby rendering them toothless pit bulls that the juniors would resist the need to rise up and do their jobs?

Why does a small country like ours require a STATE OPERATED MEDIA HOUSE, when we had a Department of Information that functioned and functioned rather well?

Why do certain stories go to certain media houses while others are left in the dust to cypher what is taking place nationally?

Please be advised that MATT stands for Media Association of Trinidad and Tobago, and not Floor MAT, so desist from attempting to walk on them. They know their job and they do it well.

So, you don’t like your image in the media … so what? That’s YOUR responsibility, not theirs. They put out what you give off. Therefore, change YOUR IMAGE. Live your posts and cease from being fodder of legendary comedic proportions.

Take heed of what happens when you attempt to strong arm a nation and laud if over the people (thankfully and proudly not me!) who put you where you are.

Twelve to None much??

The people of Tobago rode the Chariot AWAY from you. How dare you attempt to tell them what they need, where they can and cannot go and then take Trinidadians to Tobago to campaign on THEIR behalf???!

Not so!

Our fortunes are constantly being spun on a reverted Wheel of Fortune, leading us down a path of failed enterprise that gambles daily with our lives and livelihoods. We are in stasis, financially and otherwise .

The only thing that I wish for at this time is that the rest of us LEARN from ‘Bago, instead of settling for the life of the inverted hanged man who swings in futile sacrifice and selfishness, fiddling idly while Rome (well, Port of Spain) burns … while governmental buildings and campuses sit in idle incompletion as these ‘champions of the people’ SPITE the former government, as if they can’t get it through their Neanderthal-like skulls that they are simply spiting a nation by allowing their ‘friends’ to earn rent from government offices.

Grease-hand much???!

It is time for us to start acting our ages and not our collective shoe sizes. Hopefully and prayerfully, we will do that soon.